it's been a year and i dont know why i suddenly feel compelled to write again. i found this in one of e earliest posts. and it just feels like something i really need to hold on to.

to leave the dearest objects of our hearts in the sublime keeping of the general and unspecific belief that God is answering our prayers in His own time and way, and in the best manner, involves a process of inward crucifixion which is obviously unfavourable to the growth and even the existence of the life of self

i watched i captured the castle yesterday.
and she said
it's like some hideous party game. everybody's dancing and noone's getting the prize they want because it's all third hand and second best.

i dreamt i was dancing last nite. which is really funny cos i cant dance. haha i dont even believe i did ballet for 5 yrs sometimes.